Am I a European Gay Man Magnet?

So seriously... I have been reflecting on all the friends I've made here, and I've got to say they are absolutely wonderful. But there seems to be some kind of running theme amongst the boys. All of my eight closets guy friends are gay. Well, actually two of them are Bi, but still! Am I the Kathy Griffin of Europe? 

Is This My FATE!?!

I've always had gay friends in the United States, but only a relatively few. In Europe, I feel like I am the minority, since every European man I meet TURNS OUT TO BE GAY!! I've already told you all about the fiasco with my first attempt at boyfriend with someone who turned out to be homosexual. And tonight, I was with four of my gay friends and another straight girl friend Cassandra out at the bars. On the way home we meet a group of students drinking by a fountain and they invited us over to talk. Ben and I were talking to this one guy, and he was telling us a story (in french) about how his ex spent a year in Mexico and met a new Spanish lover who has since moved to Aix where he occasionally runs into them. Ben didn't understand the story, so I tried to translate. When I started to say his ex girlfriend went to Mexico he abruptly corrected me saying "MY EX BOYFRIEND". I should have seen it coming. From now on I will assume everyone is gay until proven straight.

But honestly, it is so hard here to tell! I never had a good gaydar, but in France, a lot guys look gay. Probably because of the way they dress. They are too fashionable. And so far, most of the evidence points to the same conclusion: maybe they are all gay!

But honestly, it's all good. I LOVE my gay guy friends, and being like Kathy Griffin wouldn't be so bad (I know she has a lot of haters but I think she is funny). And speaking of Comedians, I was blown away when I found out yesterday that Greg Giraldo died. I wasn't a real close follower of his, but I had seen some of his stand up and work on the Comedy Central roasts and thought he was really funny. Not to mention, he has been in the stand up game for a long time, and he made some big contributions. Rest in Peace, you knee slapper you.

SONGS THAT I LOVE HATE

So this post is not going to be about France for the most part, but something that I have been thinking about for the couple of days. I hate it when I love songs, but it's only like two lines from that that I really like. Perfect example. I hate the song by Sade "By Your Side" BUT I LOVE THE CHORUS SO MUCH. Those four lines!!!. You may have heard it played in a Bed Bath and Beyond or Stein Mart or something like that.Is it worth waiting through the whole stupid ass slow song to get to those four lines?

Another song like this is Ram's (Paul McCartney's band after the Beatles) song Uncle Albert. I hate the first part of the song sooooo much. Once the Trumpet solo starts I am in heaven, but its 2:18 seconds into the freaking song!!!!!

Also, I have thinking a lot about this one William Shatner + Ben Folds song called You'll Have Time. I love it, but it is really long (5 minutes!) and after a while he just keeps repeating about how you're going to die which gets annoying. But here are some of the lyrics:

Live life! Live life like you're gonna die,

Because you're gonna.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news,

But you're gonna die.

Maybe not today or even next year,

But before you know it you'll be saying

"Is this all there was?

What was all the fuss?

Why did I bother?"

Now, maybe you won't suffer

Maybe it's quick

But you'll have time to think

Why did I waste it?

Why didn't I taste it?

You'll have time, 

Because you're gonna die

Yes, it's going to happen because it's happened to a lot of people I know.

My Mother, my Father, my loves

The President, the kings, and even the Pope

They all had hope!

And they muttered just before they went

"Maybe, I won't go!"

Live life like you're going to die

Because you are.

So speaking of dying, I am dying of jealousy right now because my East State buddies are going to have a Venture Bros themed Halloween in Baton Rouge. Even if I came up with the coolest adult-swim show themed costume in the nation, no one would understand in France! Le triste.

What I Eat

What do I eat in France? It is pretty much the same stuff everyday. I don't go out to restaurants because they are expensive, and plus, it is a big social gathering in the kitchen each night.

Nutella and Bread. I can eat this shit straight up from the jar.

Lots of Spaghetti and pre-canned sauce. Sometimes I'll add a tomato for a "dash of class"

IT TASTE LIKE YOGURT, BUT IT'S CHEESE!

IT LOOKS LIKE CHEESE AND IS CHEESE! Love unwrapping the wax off these things

Well that about all. It gets pretty mundane. But tonight, I went out to a restaurant for the first time! It was my Australian friend France's birthday and we went to a real swanky resto called Les Deux Feres. Don't feel like searching for the accent keys, so just pretend they are there. Ate a beautiful meal which consisted of mushroom soup, tender as as an angel's kiss lamb and couscous, and a dessert of milk and almond ice cream and peach and apple crumble. Yummm!!!

What else has been going on here? Well, I decided I wanted to cut my bangs but not pay some french person 20 euros so I made my Spanish friend Alejandro do it. This tactic worked when I let Elena Bring The Jams Boo Sarwalla drunkenly watch half a youtube video and give me a haircut. It worked that time! Alejandro made me sign a contract beforehand saying I accept all responsibility. Not only did it turn out perfect, but it was free. Even more perfect!!

I hope you like my pajamas

Paper Plate of my Bangs

Okay, so big news. GUESS WHO KISSED A FRENCH GUY!!!!!! Finally, it was me! I was dancing at Club 469 with some American/Australian/Irish girls, having a good time. I was dancing like an idiot, but every once in a while some weirdo would try to dance with me. I would either scream out NO MERCI or one of the other girls in my group would save me from dancing with someone I didn't want to dance with. Long story short, finally a really cute french guy came up to me, danced with me, talked with me a little and kissed me. He asked me to go outside with him to get some air, but I told him I would wait for him in the club because I wanted to dance some more with my friends. BUT THEN I PROMPTLY got the hell out of there. Not because he wasn't nice or cute, but I was ready to go home. Like Maya Angelou always said "Hit it and Quit it". I finally proved to myself that I could get a french guy to kiss me (unlike my summer dry spell in the Ubaye Valley) and now I can relax.

Have to go do homework now. Like my teacher said:

THIS IS NOT SEX-EN-PROVENCE, NOR IS IT AIX-EN-VACANCES!


Do Work Y'all

Under the Weather, But Spirits High!

I am under the weather right now. My friend Cassandra said WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SWAM IN THE FOUNTAIN. Maybe she is right, but the glory of those few moments in that fountain are worth the petit symptoms of cold I am experiencing now.

So today was a really good day despite my sickness. Why? Because I found a website that I can watch Jersey Shore on.

They don't tell you this before studying abroad, although it is REALLY important, but you can't watch most American TV shows from their websites in France because they don't have licensing for international streaming. WHICH BLOWS. This means that I couldn't follow Jersey Shore, or even worse, the new season of Venture Brothers. Luckily I've found not so legit ways around it. But even more, I got a subscription to Netflix only to watch streaming movies and TV on my computer in France. Alas, Netflix does not work abroad. Not even Pandora!

It was also a good day because as I went to sign up for a sports class today, the french guy who worked in the office asked me if I was going to our school's integration party. I hadn't planned to because tickets cost 10 Euros, but after I saw how cute he was, I immediately changed my mind and bought a ticket. Hopefully it will be a good way to meet french kids from my school. Did you know in France, the most popular night to go clubbing is on Thursday? Apparently a lot of French kids go home for the weekend to spend time with their families. So yeah, Thursday nights are big party time here.

Yesterday we have a cheeseburger party at my friend Remi's house. We used Tony's to season the burgers, and everyone thought they were really good. How I miss American burgers! I've only been to one fast food restaurant here-- Quick. It is the European version of McDonalds (even though there IS Mcdonalds in France). It wasn't bad, but it wasn't as cheap as American fast food and the burger had some kind of special sauce. I also got a goat cheese and tomato sandwich, would never be on an American fast food menu.

Also, washed all my underwear tonight. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.

Finally Twenty One!!!

I am now legal to buy drinks anywhere around the world now. I've been waiting 21 wine-less years to spend this birthday in a country WHERE IT IS NO BIG DEAL AT ALL?

Honestly, I thought at this point of my stay in France, it would still be too early (I've only been here two weeks) for me to have made any good friends, and that I would spend my 21st birthday drinking wine alone in my bedroom, playing online poker all night. But alas! Finding friends in France turned out to be not as scary as I thought. Unlike what we learned in French class (and although it is true that french people can be kind of frigid) I've stumbled upon a bevy of beautiful French and international exchange friends who have been great friends to me.

So this weekend in Aix there is some kind of promotional thing where all of the museums in the city were free, which was great except for the fact that that meant there were a lot more people around. My friends and I went out on the town and saw some museums and artisans. In Aix, they always have people playing live music on every street corner, and we watched this great jazz band for a while.

Here are some pictures of sculptors we saw

So after we went to the famous french artist Cezanne's workshop to pass some time. I'd already seen it on my Ubaye Valley trip so I just wandered about the garden for a bit. But let me just let you know what the workshop of Cezanne is like. So you go into this old house, and they are like THIS IS WEAR CEZANNE PAINTED THINGS, LOOK! HE PAINT THAT DESK OVER THERE! HE USED THIS LADDER WHEN HE COULDN'T REACH THINGS! SOMETIMES HE HAD HIS CURTAINS OPEN, AND SOMETIMES HE SHUT THEM AHHHHH.

So while I was big chillin in the garden, my Aussie friend Albert showed up with maybe the hugest bouquet of flowers in the nation! Which was really nice, but I was also a 45 minute walk from my dorm, and this thing was like half the size of me. I was poking innocent french poodles one the street, and knocking out adorable french kids in the face with this huge thing.

I went home to Skype with my parents and I also got the chance to talk to my beautiful Amigos Jessica Nicholls and Lauren Whitmore which totally made my day. I miss them more than words can describe. How I wish I were in Arkansas having mountain adventures with them! And then I got a beautiful video from the my East State street friends (how I miss that apartment!) which they all mooned me (Including CoCo the dog) and it literally brought a tear my eye. I miss those guys so much. And truly, how did they know that all I wanted for my birthday was to see all of their bare bottoms?

So then we had a party at my friend Remi's apartment-- he was so nice to let me do that, since the dorms can be so small and not good party environment. I received presents like fancy wine, french CDs, leggings, a beret (very french), a beautiful rolling stones shirt, and these great wine classes that the bases are shaped like the Eiffel tower and they light up with different colors (I have been drinking wine out of Mason Jars, so this is a very classy step for me)

The party was gay cowboy themed, but I only remembered to tell Ben

Remi who graciously gave me his apartment for the night

Then we went out clubbing, where I preceded to not make out with any french guys. Le triste. I did however, go into the fountain Rotoundre.

The only photo evidence. My butt was very cold

All in all, birthday freaking success. Thanks again, everyone! The next drink is on me.

A Birthday Post

Last year's birthday. My mom made us wear plastic princess crowns and hold up a paper plate with our baby picture on it

So today is September 17th, which just so happens to be the birthday of my dearest and oldest friend, Romni DiJohn. I wish I could be back home to celebrate with her! We had always planned to go to Las Vegas for our 21st birthdays, but sadly, France got in our way. Although we are far apart, she ain't far from my heart. Here's to 18 years of friendship, guh,

Oh, how we've grown!

One of my favorite pictures of Romni, doing one of her favorite things (suduko, wtf is that game?!)

Fountain Hoppin'

So Aix-en-Provence is known in France as being the "City of a Thousand Fountains". There are fountains all over this place, for real. My goal is by the time I've left Aix I will have gone in EVERY FOUNTAIN. I've already started my escapades including the Fountain of the Four Dolphins (accompanied by my friend Ben) and the famous Fountain of Hot Water (more like, lukewarm if you ask me). Here are some pictures from the fountains I went in last night. 

At the famous Fountain of LUKEWARM AT BEST water with Cyril (French) and Allez-Handro (Spanish)

In the famous fountain of I don't know where this is because I drank a lot of boxed wine that night

 

So the mother of all Fountains in Aix is the Fountain of the Rotondre which I will be conquering this Saturday on my 21st birthday whoop whoop!! (Quick B-day shout out to Romni who's birthday is on Friday-- I'll be missin' you). But back to the fountain-- it's this huge three tiered beauty with statues and jets of water, and I will literally swim a lap in this thing. I've been daydreaming about it all week. People keep telling me that it is illegal to swim in the Rotondre (in fact, it is illegal to swim in all the fountains in Aix), but I figure if a cop tries to tell me anything I'll just be like BIRTHDAY LAW. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, CAN'T ARREST ME. Or I'll just say I fell in wearing my bathing suit, and had to swim a lap before I figured out how to get out. My french lady friend Cassandra told me as a birthday gift, she would exchange sexual favors with the police to get me out of prison. So it is like, uhhhhh who says french people aren't friendly? 

Anyway, hopefully pictures of my birthday fountain adventure, and not my arrest, are soon to come

First go at a french boyfriend= complete failure

So really one of the things I want to do in Aix is acquire a french boyfriend. What a way to learn a language! And en plus, I have to see if all this talk about the french being the most romantic people in the world is true. But this is so easier said than done. First of all, I don't really seem to be attracted to many french guys. They all seem a little too... feminine. They all just look a little too perfect, and they are always dressed up like they are about to go to winter formal or something.

So this is why I was surprised to find myself attracted to a guy that I met at my school's Bar Crawl. Yes, my school sponsored a BAR CRAWL for its international students. It's like, Hey international kids! Welcome to Aix! I know you need us to help you set up bank accounts and schedule your classes BUT WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU DRUNK AT 4 DIFFERENT BARS IN ONE NIGHT OUIIIIII!!!! Would more American schools do this if the drinking age was low enough that everyone in college was legal to drink? But believe me, I had no arguments about the whole thing, I happily went to Bar Crawl and met a lot of cool international and french kids.

So back to the story. I met a French guy there named Remi. Tall, dark hair, intelligent looking, and seriously French. I tried my best to flirt with him despite our language barriers, and we found out we had a mutual friend in common. I invited him to go out with us the next night, and gave him my number.

For the next couple of days, Remi would text me and we would hang out and do this or that. I was so excited that a French boy was showing interest! I dressed up super cute for each occasion, but I would get so nervous around him that my french would be EVEN WORSE than it normally was. I couldn't tell if he liked me or not, and he never made any attempts make a move or to kiss me. I was having trouble understanding his french ways.

Then Saturday night, I invited Remi to come with me to have some drinks at my dorm with an Australian and another American. The other American is named Ben. He is from Seattle, is gay, and when I met him I instantly new we would be best friends. The four of us went out on the town, telling jokes and having fun. Ben and I climbed up french telephone poles and gave each other piggy back rides in the street.Later in the night, our Aussi friend left and Remi invited Ben and I back to his house to hang out at his apartment. This is when things got clear.

Remi was gay. Super gay. The evidence in his apartment was overwhelming. A huge rainbow flag, pictures of him and past boyfriends on the walls, a glittery pink cowboy hat.... how could it be?!! Maybe he just likes gay memorabilia? Alas, I had to face the facts. I felt like I did when I discovered my childhood crush of David Hyde Pierce, the actor who plays Niles Crane on "Frasier" had a boyfriend. Just to make sure, the first thing I did when I got back to my apartment was check facebook. Sure enough, on facebook he is listed as interested "par hommes". I felt like such a fool! We had been facebook friends for a week! All the countless effort I put in trying to flirt my way through the language barrier, wasted!

But alas, there is a happy ending. Ben and Remi actually ended up hitting it off really well. I'll just have to wait for my french prince of bell air to come!

What is a French Dorm room like?

Living in the french dorms is a lot of fun. I live by myself in a tiny room, but I have my own shower and toilet! The only thing I would change is my view. There is a construction site outside my room, so I always keep the blinds down. Here are some pictures!

A Rocky Start

So my intentions for coming to Aix-En-Provence was to spend the year having adventures, and then keeping account of it all by writing a blog. Unfortunately, I have gone my first two weeks in France without keeping track of anything, and lord knows that a hell of a lot has happened since I've been here. The stay thus far has been absolutely incredible. But first things first-- let's start at the beginning.

On the plane towards Paris, I was seated next to a french guy around 35 who told me he was a teacher at the University of Oklahoma-Tulsa. I told him about my year long voyage in Aix and he indulge me in speaking a little french and giving me advice on different things to see. The rest of the voyage was going normally-- we ate a little dinner, tried to sleep as best we could, ate breakfast, and watched the little TV screens that show the progress of our airplane to Paris. We were about thirty minutes away from Charles De Gaul when I asked my french friend why he was heading home, since the academic school year in the US had just started and as a professor, he should be teaching. He told me the reason he was flying home was because his younger brother had fallen eight floors off a Parisian balcony, and that he was flying home to attend the funeral. I was in utter shock. I tried to console him, but really, what can you say? He told me about his brother-- that they had just spent the whole summer together, and that he was one of the happiest people he had ever met. He was only 23. He told me he had to stay strong for his parents, who were completely heartbroken. They asked him to be the one to identify the body, because they knew they wouldn't be able to handle it. I couldn't help myself. I started crying on the plane. I guess you never know when something like that can happen. You just assume that people will always be there. It made me feel as though even as much as you might care for somebody, you'll never be able to take them for all they are worth.It's impossible not to take things for granted

So after my plane ride, I had to take a train to Aix. While in the longest line in the nation for my train ticket, the man three spots ahead of me promptly THREW UP ON HIMSELF AND PASSED OUT. I thought to myself "Damn, I've got to get out of this line. People are literally dying here!" 

Finally I got my plane ticket and was off. There was supposed to be someone in Aix waiting for me at the station, but because my train broke down 3 times on the way, I was two hours late and my ride had abandoned me. I found a cab and found my way to my dorm.

The first person I met was my neighbor, Lea. She is french, but her father is Australian. She invited me to hang out with her and these guys from Marseilles who lived down the hall. My first french friends! One of the guys was kind of flirting with me, and before he left he gave me maybe a more than friendly bisous? and ruffled my hair a bit. I was just excited that french people would even CONSIDER flirting with me. So all in all, my first night was a success. Pictures of my dorm room to come! And beautiful stories of my awkwardness.