No Vinaigrettes!!

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, I have been balls deep in adventuring I guess. What has been going on lately? The other night I decided to cook for 10 of my friends in the dorms. What was on the menu? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A BATLOC?? They are so fucking good.  I will just copy and paste the details I made for the group event::

If you are wondering what you should do with your lame ass Thursday night, here is the answer:

COME STUFF YOUR FUCKING FACE WITH SOME FUCKING FOOD

What's on the menu? DO YOU KNOW WHAT A FUCKING BATLOC IS???
...Batloc is a sandwhich which contains::
Bacon
Avocado
Tomato
Lettuce
On
Croissant
(You can also put other stuff! Aka Mayo! Mustard! Chips! Cocaine! WE DON'T JUDGE HERE!)

DID THE GODS COME UP WITH THE SANDWICH COMBO?? Maybe. Or maybe it was my mother. EITHER WAY YOUR MOUTH BETTER BE SALIVATING AT THIS POINT.

There will also be FUCKING SALAD and FUCKING DESSERT. SNACKS ON SNACKS!!!!! WHY WOULDN'T YOU EAT THESE THINGS?!?! 

So we didn't have school this Thursday because of Armistice day, which was great because I needed to go to Carrefour to get all the supplies. Carrefour is like Wal Mart in France-- they've got it all. It is really far away and usually you have to take a 20 minute bus ride to get there. My friend Ben graciously offered to go with me to help me carry stuff. We actually decided it would be more badass to run all the way there and then take the bus back. BUT THERE WAS A CATCH. I had a time limit. I am doing a project with two Chinese girls (I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEIR NAMES ARE AND HAVE BEEN SKIRTING AROUND THIS FACT FOR WEEKS.... )and I had a rendez-vous with them in my room at 3 p.m. We we a little worried we would get totally lost trying to find our way there, but surprisingly we only got a confused once (a wee bit delay) and we ran to carrefour in UNDER AN HOUR. We were fucking proud. But there was a big hitch in the trip-- for the trip back we were planning on taking the bus. We fucking got on the wrong bus, heading towards FUCKING ARIZONA or some shit (it took us into some mountain desert) where we had to get off the bus and wait for the bus driver to pee in some bushes before we could get back on the bus and towards our original destination.

So yes, I was late for my Chinese rendez-vous, but not for the reasons we had expected. But you know what they say about women-- they like it when you make them wait.

So then we ate fucking Batlocs that night and it made me so homesick. Especially for bacon!

Ben Jones was Bacon Master of the night. And I quote "Fuck love. Bacon is the real battlefield"

So much Avacado! Lettuce!

 Hard Boiled Eggs, Goat Cheese, Tomato, Avocado

Me and my bacon master

Michelle's first Batloc

Well it was a lovely dinner, and everyone was well fed. I spent about 60 euros on the food, but I was paranoid about having enough to eat for everyone and I bought too much. And I spent 20 Euros on the desserts which were fucking delicious. So for ten people that came out to 6 euros per person. The night ended abruptly when we were kicked out of the kitchens for having alcohol. What bullshit! We weren't causing a ruckus, we were just having some wine with our dinner. I MEAN COME ON THIS IS FRANCE. And plus, we were all well over the drinking age.

This weekend we decided it was time to have another gutter punk weekend. This included my Ben Jones and I running to downtown Aix carrying Wine Bombs. At one point while running downhill, Ben promptly SKIDDED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PAVEMENT FOR FOUR MINUTES. I seriously remember watching it and it feeling like a lifetime. When is this guy going to stop skidding all over this pavement? He received plenty of nasty cuts and was pretty bloody, which if you look at it in a glass full type of perspective, went along great with our gutter punk theme. I took pictures of his cuts the next day, but they do not represent how bloody and badass he looked

Hey, what you doing tonight? Not givin' a fuck, probably.

J Christ? More like, B Jones.

But the greatest part about it was that after he fell, he got right back up and we continued our drunken run. The night turned out alright, but there were a bunch of British people who kept trying to cock block our good time. Seriously, I don't mean to generalize, but most of the British people I've met here in France suck ass.

Today I got to hang out with my neighbor Lea's mom. She is an English teacher in Bordeaux France and she let me and Ben correct some of her student's papers. 

Tonight, my friends and I went to my favorite fucking fast food restaurant in Aix. Scratch that. FAVORITE ANY KIND OF RESTAURANT OF ANYWHERE. It is called BURGERS AND CHICKENS. The thing about it is that not only is it cheap and delicious, but the building itself is the same set up as all of the clubs in Aix. And there is a TV and you can watch anything you want. We watched LES SIMPSONS

Manon Jan et Corbs getting ready for the BEST MEAL OF THEIR LIVES

Watched Les Simpsons in French. They must have some all simpson's network in France because they played like, 5 episodes in a row

We were like "how will we ever finish this mountain of fries" and then "Where the fuck did all the fries go?"

My sandwich included a hamburger patty, a chicken patty, tomato, a fried egg, and a hash-brown on Texas Toast WHAT?

Me dancin' in the Burgers and Chickens lounge

Tomorrow we are having a picnic in the Park. I can't wait to eat 12 bananas in a row there.

I will leave you all with a video I will dedicate to my Canadian friend Andrea Cownden (if she reads this blog). My Canadian friend showed it to me. All I am sayin' is, I am ready to move. Vancouver, HERE I COME.