Je Me Couche, Tu Me Trouve

So dear readers, I am sorry in the lapse of posts. Just been really busy with my usual janky adventures. Where to even begin?

This past weekend I took my first real trip out of Aix to a city called Saint Etienne. My friend Manon insisted that I go, and when she told me my Canadian crush Corbin was going as well, I was all in. We were going to stay with her two friends who she had met randomly in Austria. She saw them in a McDonalds at 2 A.M. with these huge backpacks, so she tried to help them find a hostel. All the hostels turned out to be full, and she let them spend the night. They all got along so well they ended staying their whole trip with Manon.

So let me tell you about this great website that we used for transportation. Train tickets were going to cost us 80 euros (since it was such short notice) but then we got word of Covoiturage. Covoiturage is kind of like couch surfing but with cars, and it is usually not free. People post when they are going on trips and how many places they have open in their car, and then you carpool together and pay a predetermined price. This may seem a little unsafe, but you talk beforehand with your driver and other people rate and leave comments about the drivers. We were also traveling in a group of 3, so we felt a little better about it (none of us had tried it before). We paid only 20 euros to go all the way to Saint Etienne, and took a wonderful 4 hour drive with THE HOTTEST/NICEST french man ever. He was 46, and very classically handsome. His name was Denis and he was a pilot studying his Masters in Aix but lives in Clarmont. He told us that he does Covoiture all the time, and everyone he has met through it was nice. We listened to The Beatles, The Cranberries, Phil Collins, and The Blues Brothers Soundtrack. I had such a good experience with it I am actually using it again this weekend to go to Barcelona, Spain with some friends. It will only cost me 25 euros, whereas a bus ticket is 41. CAN I GET A "AMEN!!?"

Then we met Max and Pierre, the two friends of Manon. I found out that Pierre is going to study next year in LAFAYETTE LOUISIANA. What are the odds? I cannot wait to have him over for dinner with my family, and take him to Mardi Gras and all that. Here is a picture of Pierre (IS HE BEAUTIFUL OR WHAT?)

But when I first met him, he looked like this:

You see, the reason they invited us over to their home was because they were having their cremaillere (housewarming party) and the party was themed. You were supposed to dress up as your last name. For example, for Max Colomb (the other roommate, also super handsome) he dressed up as a columbine drug lord.

So of course my name being LeBlanc, I dressed in all white. WORST MISTAKE!!!!!! At the end of the night I had wine red stains and mud all over it. Why mud? Oh don't worry readers, I will not leave you in suspense. So the party is going on and everyone is having a great time. I am talking to french people, drinking a lot of boxed wine, and dancing around. Then the hot mess in me comes out. In the kitchen, I was trying to do stage fight punches with people (where you pretend to get hit and fall over), but because I was drunk, I REALLY fell over and onto a bookshelf holding dishes and glasses (...in my defense I only broke one dish), but then I got spagetti everywhere. The next day someone took a picture of it the mess I left:

It was actually much worse then this at the time, but I drunkenly tried to clean up as much as I could and shove it into a corner

So then if that wasn't hot messy enough, Corbin SITS AND BREAKS THEIR RADIATOR. Seriously, this is a housewarming party and we are breaking shit they have never even used! They were probably thinking, who invited these foreign assholes? They kick everyone out of the party to relocate to a nearby bar (the only way to ensure safety in the apartment). At this point, Corbin is pissed off at the world, and we are both really drunk. Being the gutterpunk he is, he wants us to go sleep in a park. So we tried that shit for like two seconds, but it was like HELLLLL NO it's too cold. So I basically just got my dress muddy. We try to find our friend Manon, but when we call her she is at this random guy's apartment (his name is Ben and they met at the party). Between me being drunk, us not knowing the city AT ALL, and all of the directions are in French, understanding how to get to this guy's apartment was impossible to do over the phone and at some point I gave the phone to a random homeless guy on the street to try and figure out the directions. Finally another random guy (who I had been calling Grizzly Bear all night-- he looks like the lead singer of the band) finds us on the street to direct us. He tells us that Maxime was looking for Corbin and wanted to talk to him about the radiator. Corbin was, I think, to scared to man up to Max about it, so he just says I'M GOING SLEEP IN A PARK and abandons me with Grizzly Bear. He takes me back to my apartment, to Manon.

So I get back to Manon and tell her what happens to Corbin. As she is trying to sort it out on the phone with him, I fall asleep on ole Grizzly Bear's shoulder.

So next thing I know it is morning, and someone is tapping me awake. I am in a bed next to Grizzly Bear, and he asks me something in french. I can't understand what he is saying, and I am half asleep. I ask him to repeat. He is asking if I want to do something, but I can't understand. Maybe after the 5th time he repeats it, suddenly everything is clear. I understand each word-- "Est-ce que tu as envie de me sucer?" Let me translate for you: Do you want to suck me? As in, his dick. 

I was like, ....Oh. Naaaaaaaahhhhhh. That might have been the last thing I wanted to do. I really wanted to laugh at the time, because I had to get him to repeat to me several times he wanted me to suck his dick. What a weird situation! He asked me if I was sure. I was like, oh yes. I am so sure. WTF. He left, leaving me alone in this apartment where I seemed to be the only one. I was then stricken with panic-- what had happened to Corbin? Was he dead somewhere? Freezing in a gutter?

So I should let you know by this point I had lost my phone. I actually lost my blazer at the party which had my camera and my phone in it. I couldn't call Corbin to see if he was okay, or call Manon to see where she was. After thirty minutes of just sitting in the empty apartment, I explored around and found a staircase. I assumed Manon was up there with the guy she had gone home with. I didn't want to interrupt anything they may have been doing (wink wink), but I was really worried about Corbin so I went up. I saw a door with a crack open, so I looked in, expecting to see Manon, but it was CORBIN. How did he get there? I will never know. He doesn't know either. Apparently when he left me he actually had a pretty good night. He walked around the city and got pizza and beer (I, however was starving the whole night because we missed dinner. I was pretty J as in Jealous). We regrouped with Manon, and headed back to her friend's apartment.

Saint Etienne was a really beautiful city. We spent the day walking around, ate some delicious kababs, and got invited to this french girl's apartment for tea and pains aux chocolate. Yum! Her apartment was so cool, with such a great view.

The Kitchen

The Livin' Room.

The View

The best thing about the weekend is that by the end of our two nights we spent there, everyone felt like family to us. We met this one french girl, Chanez, who might be my soul mate (consequently, soul mate in french is ame souer, which means "soul sister", but you even use this term with boys). She was hilarious, witty, and so much fun. Her two celebrity crushes are Jack Black and Little Wayne, and she taught me all about the movie, The Human Centipede (a film about a crazy doctor who attaches three people together, anus to mouth, to form a centipede. Watch the trailer here.) She lives in Paris and invited us to stay with her anytime she goes-- French people are so nice!

The only thing that sucked about this weekend is the fact that I never found my dingle dangle phone. I am completely forgetful, and everyday I lose either my wallet, my keys, my phone (the most common occurance), or my bus pass. I swear I spend half my life searching for crap. So anyway, I actually just bought this phone TWO DAYS before the party. I bought a new phone because I have this go-phone type situation where I have to buy credit. The first phone I got with SFR was costing me too much, so I bought another phone with another company which provides free texting. I had to buy the phone, sim card, AND I put 60 euros worth of credit on it. So all in all, I lost 80 euros... but I did gain a beautiful drunken night, right? And luckily, my blazer and my camera were recovered.

This Thursday, me and my ladies are heading off to Barcelona, Spain. I'll be coming home Monday via Covoiturage. I am so excited! Don't know any Spanish. I am just gonna be like HOLA DOGS. YO QUERO TACO BELL. MI CASA ES SU COCHE. Que Sera Sera! We are trying to couch surf, but have no definite plans. If we have no place to stay, we will just spend the whole night dancing in the clubs, and in the morning we can just go to the movies and sleep there. This is legit, yes?

Can we take a second to appreciate how good my legs look in this photo?

Hanging out under blankets. The apartment was really cold. Probably because we broke the radiator

Anyway, I'll update when I get back from Spain. Sorry this post was as long as my dick. Stay Classy. Here is a weird video that makes me laugh a lot.

Cool It or You'll Get a Knuckle Supper

French People are so nice. They are always offering to cook. The other night my friend Benoit graciously cooked for about 15 people! It was a long process, and we got kicked out of the kitchens. He made tomato and mozzarella slices for the appetizer, and cooked rice with curry sauce. Yum!

Getting it done in the kitchen

Benoit had to move it to his room

He also made me a delicious breakfast the other day-- sausage links and grilled zucchini. It reminds me of the days living at East State Street and Stevesy, the beautiful man he is, would cook delicious meals for everyone.

I also had a beautiful french meal with some kids I had met before at that weird apartment party! Out of the blue the guy sends me a text message to have a traditional french meal with him and his friends. Could have been a trap, but the allure of free food always gets me. Turned out to be one of the nicest nights I've ever had here. I forgot my camera, which BLEW because it was the most beautiful meal. We started with a salad de chevre (goat cheese), then for the main course Les Galettes, which are salty crepes with cheese, eggs, bacon and mushrooms inside (yum!) and finally for the dessert, the person who made the dessert worked in a pastry shop and made these beautiful chocolate crisps with almond ice cream and raspberry fruit slivers. TOO GOOD.

After the food, we talked, listened to music, and I played the only song I could remember the chords to off the top of my head on the guitar-- The Cranberries "Zombie". What a weird thing for me to have played! But look at what Simon let me borrow:

On her Majesty's Secret Service-- en Francais

This past weekend was Hella Fun. First off, Ben Jones cut my hair. I really like letting my friends cut my hair. They always do as well as the hairdressers. No more of this paying money crap. Like any good friend, I returned the favor and cut his hair as well. 

Have not thought of a better way to catch hair than the paper plate

the finished result!

A master at work

After I cut Ben's hair we gutter punked him up with my torn up sweater, bandanna, and a little (lot) of hair gel. Michelle G cannot contain herself

Saturday night was really janky fun and I drank too much wine from a BAG of wine. That is right. We have gone to a new level of class with skipping the whole "box" shit and just buying straight up bags of wine. I had a weird conversation with Gutter Punk Canadian Corbin about his brother who fucked one girl so hard she deleted her facebook. And I quote "That bitch was putting up all kinds of albums. She had three hundred! She was rollin' in the photos and her facebook profile was a mile long! My brother fucked her so hard she deleted EVERYTHING". 

Sunday we watched a Jean Luc Goddard film as part of this series that is going on in Aix. The film we saw was called The Weekend. I have no idea what it was about. Lots of metaphors and blood and rape. There were some points where we were just watching someone chew a sandwich for 15 minutes. I was like, yeah, great.

Monday we went out to Sunset, a local club which sells drinks at 50 cents each!! I danced and hung out with people. I tried to flirt with my crush Corbin, but I don't know how well that is working out. On our way home, somehow, we started pretend fighting, which quickly turned into real fighting. Punching in kicking in the street. I have bloody scabs on my knuckles and bruises on my arms. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I love fighting. It is so exhilarating! At some point we had reached some kind of truce, and we were walking side by side. He asked me "Angela, do you like Greenland?" and I replied "Well...yeah, I guess" and THEN HE PUSHED ME INTO A FUCKING BUSH.

The weirdest thing about that is, after he pushed me into the bush, I was like, damn that was a good joke. And I liked him more.

In other news, I let a gal friend stay over in my dorm today and and while I was in class she promptly FLOODED THE SHIT out of it. Literally, water was everywhere and it even got into my neighbor's room across the hall. Apparently she didn't notice that the drain was clogged and she took a really long shower. She felt really really bad, but I just told her, Don't worry about it. I am from Louisiana, and I am used to flooding.

Too soon? (HURRICANE KATRINA JOKE!)

In other other news, I was talking to another friend today and then a truck hit her. Dang! Luckily it only grazed her shoulders and she got by with only some nasty bruises. But all I am saying is, impolite, french truck driver!

I think this is all the news for now.  P.S. I don't know if you guys know about all the striking that is going on in France, all I will say is that it is bullshit because for some reason my school doesn't go on strikes. Lame. I will talk more about why the strikes are bullshit in a later post.

I hope you guys are liking the blog, and I will try to update more often. 

When Kurt Vonnegut suggested that you stop once in a while to say, "If this isn't nice I don't know what is" he was giving you the best mid-makeout move ever.

Much better than saying "so it goes"

Shit Got Real

Dear Readers, I don't even know how to describe what has happened to me last night. This is not true, and I will be describing it later in this post. It has been a weird night.

But! let me tell you about some things that have happened before then. So my kissin' counter is on the rise. Who is the lucky victim this time? My friend Jan (pronounced Yann) from the Netherlands! He has some kind of weird obsession with my knees (?????) but is super duper nice and fun. This weekend there is Festival de Marriage in Aix (what did I tell you about these festivals?) and we are going to dress up and go together. He is strictly in the friend zone though.

And let me just take a moment to clarify, that at home I am not this boy crazy, but my friends and I have a bet to see who can kiss the most people by the end of the semester. This is a challenge I was willing to take up. Even if I lose, I win. Honestly, things are really different when you are studying abroad. It is really easy to meet guys and for them to think that you are interesting because you are foreign. Your not yourself anymore, but a representation of your country. They don't want to make out with me, they want to make out with AMERICA.

But I am have discussed it with all my other exchange friends here. We were never this hot in the U.S. Nobody wanted us there like they want us here.

Anywhozziles, yesterday I went to Marseilles again, but this time with Jan and Corbin (the guy I had a date with the other night--- I have hung out with him several times after. Still can't tell if he is gay or not). Marseilles was just pretty gross in general and FILLED WITH TRASH EVERYWHERE. Seriously, piles of trash on every corner. We think there might be some kind of Garbage worker strike right now... but if not then that is just totally gross.

Jan just rockin out

Corbin playing my Uke. REMEMBER THIS FACE it because so important later in the story

A hat that Jan found in one of the many trash piles of Marseilles.

Jan took this picture of my knees because he is obsessed with them.They just look like dirty mountains to me.

so let's flash forward to last night. We went out to the bars for Thursday night. Same old same old. Had some drinks, danced a little, etc. After we left, Corbin, Jan, and this french girl Gaielle came over to drink wine in my room. We chatted, Jan admired my knees, and Corbin fell asleep on my bed.  He was passed out, and I promised Jan and Gaielle that it was okay for him to stay in my room, and I would get him up for class the next morning.

So then we are sleeping. Not cuddling or anything, but just sleeping next to each other, and all the sudden I feel him trying to move me. I was confused at first, but then I realized he was probably just trying to go to the bathroom. I let him pass, and 12 seconds later I HEAR THE WORST NOISE I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE. It is the sound of water hitting my wooden floors. I look up, AND HE IS PEEING IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM. I didn't know what to do! Should I have gone over and tried to redirect his pee stream? I decided to wait it out because I figured the damage had already been done, but it turned out to be THE LONGEST AND MOST POWERFUL PEE I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.

Then he comes back and crawls into bed like HE DIDN'T JUST PEE EVERYWHERE. I was so tired and I wanted to just wait until the morning to deal with the whole thing, but the corner he decided to pee in happened to be right where my door was, and I was imagining the pee leaking out from under the door and everyone in the hallway seeing this pee river coming from my room. I got up and cleaned. It took all my my paper towels, and I had to throw away my bath mat. But in the long run I wasn't even mad. In fact, it was actually pretty funny-- even in that moment. Plus, when nature calls, what can you do?

All I am saying is, bro owes me a new bath mat.

Ben and I before a Venture Run, This week we jumped a fence and swam in a rich person pool!

I leave you with a quote from King George V:

Always go to the bathroom when you have the chance

Bloodstains, Speed Kills, Fast Cars, Cheap Thrills

This weekend was pretty Gutter Punk.

Saturday my friends Ben, Michelle P, Frances and I went on a frugal shopping spree around France. There are no such things as goodwill or salvation army in Aix (my favorite stores in the US!) but every now and then there are fundraiser type things that sell second hand clothing. This fundraiser we found was for something about alcohol. Probably not to drink it. Or maybe that we should be drinking more? I found some cool deals.

Blazer! Tons of french girls sport the blazer. I sport mine for 2 euros.

This shirt was weird, but it felt patriotic.

We also split a Pizza, chatted over some coffee and got some ice cream. The Ice Cream was so legit delicious. They even shaped your ice cream in the cone so it would look like a flower:

Michelle P was confused. Why did they give me this flower? I thought I ordered ice cream? Boy did she feel  foolish when she tried to place it in a vase.

So Aix has really weird festivals every week. Last week, if you remember, was the festival of transportation where all the buses were free. This weekend it was the festival of Security. That means we got to see police officer guns and sit in fire trucks and stuff. Doesn't my friend look legitimately dead in this picture?

P.S. I also bought the sweater he is wearing from the same second hand sale. 2 euros!

I wonder what festival will be next week? Festival of Canned Vegetables? Festival of Woven Baskets? They all seem so arbitrarily chosen. When will they accidentally pick a super cool theme for a festival?

Anywhozzile, you are probably thinking, Angela, this weekend doesn't sound gutter punk at all. Okay, so here is the good stuff. This weekend I met some friends at the bars to have so drinks and then go dancing. My friend Ben had waaayyyyy to much to drink and was stumbling around in drunken bliss. He eventually sat his drunken booty on the curb next to a group OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL gutter punks I have ever seen. What is it about these boys that attract me? Lack of showers? Mutton chops? At this point, Ben literally is slumping on this french g.p. and I take this as an opportunity to go talk to him. He had bleach blond hair with brown sideburns and a nose ring. I drew a picture of him so you could get more involved with this story.

He actually looked nothing like this

The point is, he was really nice and cute, and since I had learned a lot about punk music from a past boyfriend, I impressed him by dropping band names and crap. He told me that his friends were crazy and could be bastards, as I watched them pissing in public. Why was I attracted to all this? Maybe it is because I have my own secret longing to be able to pee outdoors?

At the end of the night I wanted to give him my phone number. He wasn't from Aix but he comes here almost every weekend. As he was entering my number into his phone, I talked to one of his friends who was wearing a leather jacket with a Ramones patch about some bands. Here is a drawing of him:

Again, he looked nothing like this

We were in the middle of talking about Motorhead, and all of the sudden he grabbed me, BY MY BEAUTIFUL BUTTOCKS, pulled me in and kissed me-- in front of his friend I was trying to give my phone number to!!!! I pulled away pretty quickly, (even though I was actually happily surprised and excited he kissed me) not knowing what to do because I was literally in the process of giving my number to someone else. But I'll tell you, that was a pretty spontaneous/ballsy move, and it left me in some kind of love struck frenzy. I can't stop thinking about these gutter punk kids now. Hopefully they will call me the next time they are in Aix. I'll keep you updated.

But I actually walked home with another gutter punk kid from Canada who I randomly met. His name is Corben (or maybe Corban?? I don't know. It sounds like a made up name if I ever heard one). We walked home, had some laughs, and took the long route. When I suggested we should head back because of the cold, like a Canadian Mountie  gentleman, HE OFFERED ME HIS DENIM VEST. I don't know, dear readers, if you know anything about Denim vests, but they have NO SLEEVES. Yeah, dude, thanks. My shoulders/chest/stomach area are really warmin' up now.  And it was even weirder because I had a leather jacket with me, but I was holding at the time. We decided to trade off.

Later I went home and investigated the pockets. Can someone please tell me what these things mean? He had:

1) A condom (better safe than herpes!) 

2) A guitar pick 

3) A five dollar bill. American. Why would he have this? He is Canadian. Was it a tip for me?

So last night I invited him over to watch a movie. We watched the James Bond classic Dr. No. At the end of the night, no kiss, no bisous, not even a hug. He did express interest in wanting to hang out more though. I have a suspicion he is gay. Why? Because during Dr. No the American spy wears these really weird feminine looking sunglasses and he just kept saying how much he liked them. And he talked about how good Sean Connery looked in his trousers. I mean, maybe I am being over paranoid, BUT SINCE I AM THE STRONGEST GAY MAGNET of France, nothing would surprise me at this point. If I met Rambo in France and he told me he was gay, I wouldn't even blink. .... is that an expression? Or maybe it's I wouldn't bat an eyelash? Whatever, I hope y'all get what I mean.

Seriously. If gay guys want to meet other gay guys, they should not go to gay clubs, they should just come hang out with me.

Don't Go Far Off

Anyone keeping up with the new season of Venture Brothers? Holy Hell, it is so good.

So last night I went out to the bars with some friends.While I was talking to a friend, some french guys noticed I was speaking English and came over to talk with me. They were really nice, and invited us to an apartment party. Long story short, I got some date proposals! They are not my type, but still, it was pretty nice to be asked if I wanted to go out on a date sometime. But I know they were only interested because I was American. Can I blame them? I am always on the prowl for french dudes. Oh and speaking of French dudes, today in my Aikido class I had the MOST BEAUTIFUL partner. He wasn't very good at Aikido, but in "looking totally beautiful" department he was right on the money. Can't wait for next Friday.

So can we talk about the greatest invention ever right quick? CHEESEBURGER FLAVORED POTATO CHIPS. Do they have these in the U.S.? If they do, I have been wasting my life. These chips are saving me from my cheeseburger withdrawls. Why, you may ask?

They put the taste of a cheeseburger into fries, basically. Who knew we had this kind of technology?

BECAUSE THEY TASTE SPECIFICALLY LIKE WHOPPER JUNIORS. Lord knows I love me some whopper juniors. They only sell these chips at Carrefour (french wal-mart) which I have to take the bus (20 minutes) to get to, so when I went the last time I bought 4 bags. Fatty Fatty Chicken Patty!

SO in other news, I found the most awesome vintage clothing store in Aix this past week. It's called Blow Up and it is a lot like Time Warp in Baton Rouge but crazy cheap. I think the reason for this is that is because french people in Aix aren't really into the vintage/indie look. Here is a cool dress I bought for 15 Euros!

Okay, so I will end this post with a video, going out to my Femme Fatale Lauren Whitmore. In fact, I am putting two videos because I could not chose between them. They are both from the Andy Griffith Show, and they both kill me.

A quote from the great Pablo Neruda:

So I wait for you like a lonely house

Till you see me again and live in me.

Till then my windows ache

A Sexy International SuperSpy That Never Cries!

I think I am about to die. A lot of the international kids are sick, including me. My fever keeps waking me up, so why not blog a little? So this past Sunday I FINALLY went to Marseilles. It's only a 5 euro bus ride and thirty minutes away, but I somehow never got around to it. I went with Remi, Ben and a new friend, Oben. That is right, his name is Oben. Like, oh, Ben! Imagine if you were having sex with him, and accidentally called out for someone named Ben? He would never notice, because you would be like, OH BEN! and he would be like, yep that is my name.

Okay, so here are some pictures. We walked around the city, and went this really beautiful cathedral.

Marseilles is a port city, but you cannot swim in the port! Too many boats.

At the church. Can I get married here? Maybe if the city didn't smell like fish, thanks.

Oben, myself, and Remi taking a break at un cafe. You may be wondering, is Oben gay? Well, he is french and he is my friend, so for now we will assume, yes.

They had little boats hanging up in the church. Too cute.

So the highlights of the trip to Marseilles-- A) we overheard some french teenager telling her friend she wants to DRESS LIKE ME. Could not believe it! I feel like I am not stylish at all, especially here compared to these chic ass European chicks. B) So there are these people who are blind (they might be pretending, actually. Not sure... they don't seem too blind) who hang out in front of monuments that tourists go to, asking for donations. Ben mistakenly thought that they were collecting admission for entry into the church. When he asked how much to enter, they didn't correct him, and let him think it was admission into the church. Those blind bastards! And finally, C) they have these huge steps outside the train station, and Ben and I ran up them rocky style, singing Eye of the Tiger. Any day where I can feel more like Rocky is a good day.

Last night we played Monopoly at Oben's house. All I will say about that is that Monopoly brings out the worst in people, and I will never play again. Why can't we play Twister, where everyone wins and nobody is going bankrupt?

Monopoly? More like, this game sucks-oloy. When does this game get fun-oly? Oh, Am I in Jail again? Can I stay there for the rest of the game AND TAKE A NAP?

Okay, so I will end this post by sharing a video. This one goes out to the Spanish Advantage, Jessica Nicholls.I have started taking Spanish lessons with my friend Alejandro! Nuestro perro se llama BINGO! Vuestro coche esta roto! Test on Friday. I love the Spanish lisp. Anyway, I love this song. You can look up the original  video on VIMEO to see some more nudity.

And a quote to top it all off, also dedicated to J. Nicholls (or should I say, J Twain?): 

"Go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company" - Mark Twain

Good Call, Baby Doll

So yesterday I tried with all my heart to go dancing, BUT SADLY IT DID NOT HAPPEN. Why? Because all my friends were too drunk. We spent 2 hours on the Corbeau (one of the main streets in Aix) drinking, and freezing my little booties off (I don't have any pants here, which I'll explain why in another post). Tired of dancing in the street by myself (Snooki Style) to keep warm, I tried to Shepard these drunken lambs to the dance clubs, but by the time they got there they were all full and someone had a stomach ache, so we went home. You know that song, Safety Dance? You can dance if you want to, you can LEAVE YOUR FRIENDS BEHIND? I think they were trying to send a personal message to me. But who wants to dance in a club without some friends to back up your awkward moves? Alas, there will be so many other nights of dancing, I've got to let this one go.

The night was not a complete failure, however. This weekend in Aix is the Transportation festival. This means that they had a lot of transportation type activities going on during the day, but more importantly ALL THE BUSES WERE FREE THIS WEEKEND. Hell yeah!!! Although I already have a bus pass, I was like FREE RIDES ALL DAY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

Anyway, in the Corbeau they had this inflatable archway set up.

I got to see a drunken girl knock it over and run away. It was pretty funny because it stopped traffic and people were getting their panties in a bunch. I ran over and with the help of some of the disgruntled drivers whose cars were blocked, we got it back up. Go team teamwork!

In other news, today my friend Ben from Seattle and I went on a Venture run. Best. Idea. Ever. We ran around the city for two hours, climbing on trees and roofs, trying to get ourselves lost, and stopping at every fountain we saw to take a dip. At one fountain, when I took off my shoes and socks, I accidentally placed my socks into a puddle of water. I didn't know what to do! I could not put these wet ass socks back on! Luckily, we realized there was one of those wash-o-terias across the street from the fountain. Inside, we found a whole box dedicated to random socks people had left behind!

The socks that saved my life today

You might be thinking, God Angela, you are pretty gross. You don't know where those socks have been. But let's review the facts. I was desperate. I was an hour away from home so I could not walk home barefoot. I could not put my wet socks on because I would get athlete's foot or something (and that squishy feeling of wet socks is just too gross), and I had just been swimming in dirty ass fountain water anyway. I am on a whole other level of not giving a fuck at this point. And speaking of not giving a fuck, Ben and I ran through this park where we saw these 15 year old french boys playing basketball. One had this great shirt of a hand flipping the bird saying  DON'T GIVE A FUCK. He wrote the name of the store he bought it from on my arm with a yellow paint pen (which he was probably using to write some profanity on a bathroom stall somewhere-- he was quite the demon rebel!)

I know it's hard to read, but is says "COREZONE". I am going to buy the same shirt as that rascal

Also, found a kind of cool shirt on the ground today. I DO BELIEVE IN MIRACLES.

Who would throw out this zebra/floral design?

In conclusion, I will leave you with this quote from Shel Silverstein:

"Listen to the musn'ts child,

Listen to the don'ts.

Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the wont's.

Listen to the never haves,

Then listen close to me

Anything can happen child,

Anything can be."