Shit Got Real

Dear Readers, I don't even know how to describe what has happened to me last night. This is not true, and I will be describing it later in this post. It has been a weird night.

But! let me tell you about some things that have happened before then. So my kissin' counter is on the rise. Who is the lucky victim this time? My friend Jan (pronounced Yann) from the Netherlands! He has some kind of weird obsession with my knees (?????) but is super duper nice and fun. This weekend there is Festival de Marriage in Aix (what did I tell you about these festivals?) and we are going to dress up and go together. He is strictly in the friend zone though.

And let me just take a moment to clarify, that at home I am not this boy crazy, but my friends and I have a bet to see who can kiss the most people by the end of the semester. This is a challenge I was willing to take up. Even if I lose, I win. Honestly, things are really different when you are studying abroad. It is really easy to meet guys and for them to think that you are interesting because you are foreign. Your not yourself anymore, but a representation of your country. They don't want to make out with me, they want to make out with AMERICA.

But I am have discussed it with all my other exchange friends here. We were never this hot in the U.S. Nobody wanted us there like they want us here.

Anywhozziles, yesterday I went to Marseilles again, but this time with Jan and Corbin (the guy I had a date with the other night--- I have hung out with him several times after. Still can't tell if he is gay or not). Marseilles was just pretty gross in general and FILLED WITH TRASH EVERYWHERE. Seriously, piles of trash on every corner. We think there might be some kind of Garbage worker strike right now... but if not then that is just totally gross.

Jan just rockin out

Corbin playing my Uke. REMEMBER THIS FACE it because so important later in the story

A hat that Jan found in one of the many trash piles of Marseilles.

Jan took this picture of my knees because he is obsessed with them.They just look like dirty mountains to me.

so let's flash forward to last night. We went out to the bars for Thursday night. Same old same old. Had some drinks, danced a little, etc. After we left, Corbin, Jan, and this french girl Gaielle came over to drink wine in my room. We chatted, Jan admired my knees, and Corbin fell asleep on my bed.  He was passed out, and I promised Jan and Gaielle that it was okay for him to stay in my room, and I would get him up for class the next morning.

So then we are sleeping. Not cuddling or anything, but just sleeping next to each other, and all the sudden I feel him trying to move me. I was confused at first, but then I realized he was probably just trying to go to the bathroom. I let him pass, and 12 seconds later I HEAR THE WORST NOISE I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE. It is the sound of water hitting my wooden floors. I look up, AND HE IS PEEING IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM. I didn't know what to do! Should I have gone over and tried to redirect his pee stream? I decided to wait it out because I figured the damage had already been done, but it turned out to be THE LONGEST AND MOST POWERFUL PEE I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.

Then he comes back and crawls into bed like HE DIDN'T JUST PEE EVERYWHERE. I was so tired and I wanted to just wait until the morning to deal with the whole thing, but the corner he decided to pee in happened to be right where my door was, and I was imagining the pee leaking out from under the door and everyone in the hallway seeing this pee river coming from my room. I got up and cleaned. It took all my my paper towels, and I had to throw away my bath mat. But in the long run I wasn't even mad. In fact, it was actually pretty funny-- even in that moment. Plus, when nature calls, what can you do?

All I am saying is, bro owes me a new bath mat.

Ben and I before a Venture Run, This week we jumped a fence and swam in a rich person pool!

I leave you with a quote from King George V:

Always go to the bathroom when you have the chance